lauri (_empty_scars) wrote in its_not_so_easy,

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okay.. i've got a question for.. like.. i dunno, anyone i need to get opinions from people besides those who are like.. really close to me and kinda have a hazed view on things.. it's gonna be kinda long-ish cause i'm gonna do some explanationy stuff soo i'm gonna do an LJ-cut deal.

ookay. so.. some people i know have been telling me that they think i ought to seperate myself from my friend matt.. he's like.. my best friend and exboyfriend at the same time.. so it is a little bit awkward but we've kinda moved on and we just have fun as friends...
but lately, when i get depressed it's because of him. because there are times when i need support from him but he's not one to just openly give out support he needs to really think you need it, which i dont really agree with i give support to any of my friends who needs it but anyways. so he was apparently describing me to this kid he knows and the way he did it was "she's a 17 year old girl who acts like a 14 year old depressed goth" i'm not really sure what to do with that description because i've dealt with the shit he's done to me as well as everyone else quite well.. i'm still alive and so is everyone else who i talk to. soo that's gotta speak for something.
i dunno.. when it's just me and him. he's a great guy, he's a lotta fun to hang out with and we act really stupid together cause that's just what we do. we have a lota really good memories together and most of the time he understands what i'm saying before i even have to say it, he knows when i need a hug and will generally jump at the fact to give me one, and he makes me feel really really safe... but when there's a group of people.. like when it's me and him and random friends in town he acts completely different like it's a chore for him to even TALK to me. which i guess brings me down just because i dont understand him and i wish i did.

so.. the question.. what do you guys think? do you think i should seperate myself from him like some people i know have suggested.. or what? i just.. i dont know what to do.. and i need someone to kinda help me figure it out.... so yeah.. any help would be really good.. cause, i dunno. in a bit of a depressed mood trying to figure it out.

thanks guys..
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