Tears Of Joy (myguntoyourhead) wrote in its_not_so_easy,
Tears Of Joy

I'm new.

Name? Cait
Age? 15
Do you cut? Yes, although, I have to stop. [whether I want to or not]
Who knows about it? the whole school [I'm a rumor now] although only my close close friends really know I'm a "cutter"
Have you ever tried to commit suicide before? yes
Where do you usually cut? I've cut my wrist, palms, face, hips, stomach, chest, and left arm. Usually I cut my palm/wrist though.
When you cut, who's usually the first to find out? My friends Shane, Pat, Amber, or Kristie
What's your worst experience with a fresh cut? I cut a lot one day and my friend saw and called an ambulance, I had to spend 6 hours in an ER.
Do you have a fascination with scabs? Yes. Well, kind of. I hate them. So I'm always picking at them. Some would think I just like to play with them...
Do you like scars, yes or no? yes.
Do you name your razor? no.
What other methods of SI do you use? just cutting.
Do you dislike the term "self mutilation"? no. I don't care.
What various ways do you use to hide cuts? I cover them. If they're in shapes then I draw over them [so it just looks like i drew it on.]
Once cuts heal, do you still hide the scars? yes, so that my siblings don't ask questions.
Ever been institutionalized/hospitalized for SI'ing? once. I spent 6 hours in an ER. that's it. And then I went to a partial hospital with is a program thing... so yeah. does that count?
Do you ever run into problems with hiding cuts (i.e: gym change rooms)? no.
What's the best part about cutting to you? it gets out my anger and frustrations. And I like to see the blood.
Do you know of any songs that talk about SI? I'm A Fake by The Used [at the beginning of the song] And Last Resort by Papa Roach although I think that may be more about suicide eep.
What instrument do you use to cut? Scissors, safety pins, pocket knives, swiss army knives, steak knives, anything really.
What causes you to cut? anger and depression
What do you feel afterwards? calm. or at least calm enough to sleep the rest of the pain away.
What is your closest Close Call? I've never really had one.
How long have you been doing it? On and off for 2 years.
Do you keep a razor in your bag? No, I used to keep a pocket knife, but it got taken away when my parents found out about it.
Ever needed stitches for a cut so deep? No.
Do you have someone like a therapist you talk to regularly? Yes.
Do you have any other disorders not associated with SI? Not really.
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